One of the questions I have been asked most often over the last ten years or so is why, as an otherwise reasonably intelligent and educated person, I am still into this God stuff.
It is usually asked with genuine curiosity, although occasionally there is the underlying suggestion that faith is something I really ought to have grown out of by now. After all, I have a PhD in the history of technology, I ask a lot of questions, and I am not especially good at accepting an answer simply because someone in authority says it is the answer.
It is a fair question.
As part of my current ministry training, I have been asked to make a short video exploring aspects of my faith journey and to invite responses from a diverse group of people, including Christians and people who do not identify as Christian.
This is not something I find particularly easy. I would not normally tell my faith story as one complete, organised account. Most of the time, different parts of it emerge in conversation, when someone asks a question or shares something of their own experience. There is also no dramatic conversion moment in my story: no single point where I can say everything changed and all the questions disappeared.
In fact, the questions have probably increased.
The video is my attempt to respond honestly to the question of why I am still a Christian without turning it into an argument for the existence of God or an exercise in apologetics. It explores some of the things which have shaped my faith: belonging, music, being useful, church experiences which have been both life-giving and deeply painful, my late ADHD diagnosis, and the growing conviction that faith should make room for questions rather than demand certainty.
It is not my whole story. Some parts of my life are entangled with the lives of other people and are not only mine to tell. Nor do I imagine this is the only way I will ever understand or tell my story. It is simply what stands out to me at this point.
Perhaps the simplest way of putting it is this: I am not a Christian because I have found all the answers. I am a Christian partly because faith gives me somewhere to bring the questions.
I’ve had about 15 or so responses to this video although interestingly most of them came from people who are Christian and already part of a church community. However, several were fro people who have a faith but no longer feel safe or welcome in church. I will be reflecting on that in a future post as well as responding to some of the questions I had in response to the video. If you do have any questions or comments please do feel free to leave them below and I will either respond directly or include it in my followup video.
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